Mended
The human mind is truly amazing. It is capable of storing such a huge amount of information and what only transcends to the conscious level is really a tiny bit of the whole gigantic iceberg. I often have these moments where people still need to remind of things that have happened in the past. What's weird is that those events are more crucial to me than it is to them. And that in the scene, I was always involved.
I may just have that strange habit of forgetting past events that were likely to be painful, very confusing or just plain unwanted. I often associate this with my failed relationships. I suppose no other traumatizing incident has ever happened in my life.
I had a dawning the other day, enroute to work from my parents' home. I recalled suddenly some details of my break up with Joe that somehow I ended up forgetting. I told him I tried dating someone and I suppose that made him realize I was no longer his. That also made me think that if I had such strong faith in him and I, we would have lasted because he wasn't giving up, he was just too preoccupied. I remember him saying that he always thought we were still together up until that time.
Anyway, that memory made it easier for me to accept the gesture from him, sending his driver to me to bring me a birthday cake. So his driver came up to me, handed me the cake and told me it was from Joe. I opened it and it said, it came from the household. That annoyed me. Friends later on told me, he was trying to play safe. I didn't text Joe to thank him until late that night of my birthday. His reply came the next day and he was saying sorry he never got the chance to talk to me again and the "household".
His reply to me sounded like he needed me to tell him that it was ok, like he was expecting for a reply. I chose not to reply, not for pride or anything but I was already content knowing that part of my life is over. I didn't have the right word for it until my friend told me I am finally mended.
Yesterday, a good friend called me up. She recently transferred work to Makati and well, we sort of miss the talking part. Anyway, I told her happily that I am already ok now. That I am not in a relationship of any sort, or settling for something in between. She was glad to hear that and she even said it was an accomplishment for my part. What she doesn't know is before I met her, I had been single for 5 years before finally getting into another relationship. Now, I'm really taking my time, doing what I need to do before I finally settle down.
